Parenting

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on parenting - on how behaviors unfold and why conflicts often arise between parent and child. It feels like a delicate dance where intentions and outcomes don’t always align. Here’s the pattern I’ve been thinking about:

A child steps into the world, a blank slate, and their first lessons come from the people closest to them - their parents. The child watches, mimics, and internalizes. This is their world; this is what “normal” looks like.

Now imagine the parent, navigating their own complexities, exhibits a behavior - let’s say laziness, as an example. It’s not intentional, just one of those traits that creeps into daily life. The child, ever the sponge, absorbs this behavior without judgment. To them, it’s not “bad”; it simply is.

But here’s where things take a turn. The parent, unaware of their own influence, notices the same behavior mirrored in their child. It’s jarring. They see it as a flaw, something that needs correction. And often, the correction comes in the form of scolding or criticism.

The child, however, is baffled. In their mind, this behavior came from a place of trust - it was learned from the very person now condemning it. The mismatch between what was modeled and what’s now reprimanded feels unfair. It feels hypocritical. And so, a crack begins to form in the relationship.

What’s the way out of this loop? I think it’s self-awareness.

When a parent takes the time to hold up the mirror and truly see themselves - to recognize their own habits and traits - they begin to understand how these ripple into their child’s behavior. From there, the approach changes. Instead of scolding, the parent can respond with patience, offering guidance that feels constructive, not punitive.

This shift - this moment of awareness - is what breaks the cycle. It’s the key to fostering understanding instead of division.

Parenting, in its essence, is as much about raising a child as it is about growing yourself.